Reluctantly, he handed over the key. “You realize this is a one way trip.” It was a statement, not a question. His voice sounded more resigned than upset, and it’s probably because we’d had this discussion numerous times over the past six months.
“Yes, Ted, I know. I knew it last week, I knew it last month, I knew it last year when I applied for the program.” I ran my hand through my hair, shoving it out of my eyes, where it had fallen. It always seemed to fall into my eyes when I was frustrated, and right now, I was really frustrated.
When I first applied for this opportunity, Ted had been supportive. Of course, he had applied with me. I’m not sure if he expected that we’d both be accepted, or whether he hoped we’d both be rejected. But neither situation had come to pass. Instead, I had made it. He hadn’t.
I couldn’t believe it when the envelope arrived with my acceptance. It was even more unbelievable than the news, two years prior, that the European Space Agency had discovered a wormhole hidden inside the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. Long theorized, these strange phenomena were thought to link far distant parts of the universe, allowing interstellar travel without the long commute times.
Immediately, NASA had re-purposed a probe that was due to explore Neptune and sent it into the wormhole. The world waited for seven anxious months. The probe returned images of an earth-like planet, and all the readings indicated it could support human life. NASA and the ESA partnered up to send an unmanned rover to explore the new world. But private industry wasn’t waiting around.
Eccentric billionaire Wayne Nevins, founder of the first successful space tourism company, put out a call for volunteers to explore and settle this new-found world. Unlike his commercial space-flights, this trip would be covered by the company, but those who went would have to commit to staying. Despite this condition, hundreds of thousands of people volunteered, Ted and I among them.
I never really expected to be selected. I assumed that they’d want biologists and engineers, botanists and chemists, cartographers and archeologists. I could understand taking photographers, journalists, and even farmers. I’m still not sure why they wanted a poet. But that’s how Nevins made his billions. By seeing things other people didn’t and taking chances that others thought foolish. That was certainly Ted’s view when I got my acceptance and he didn’t.
I can still remember the fight we had that night. It was a fight that had extended for the following five months. Finally, about a month ago, the fight had gone out of him. I think he realized that I wasn’t changing my mind. He tried to make the best of things for our last month together, but his heart wasn’t in it. I had felt him drawing away from me. I would have fought harder, but I realized that it was probably for the best for both of us, if I could leave with a clean break.
So here I was, key in hand, ready to walk out the door. Ready to walk off the planet. I’d been a professional writer for my entire adult life, but I couldn’t think of any words to say. Goodbye seemed both too little and all too final.
So I left without saying anything at all.
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